Validation and connection through reviews - the first mover dynamic 

Reaction videos are soaring in popularity. Perhaps they peaked during the recent beef between music titans Kendrick Lamar and Drake, but I’m sure there will be more opportunities for these streamers to express their legitimate incredulity at the next pop culture moment du jour. 

Let the record show I am a deep enjoyer of this type of content. It’s more than just reaction videos; editorials from established journalists, Reddit comments and anecdotes from my homies seem to scratch a similar itch. What itch is that, exactly?

If you threatened to take my dinner away I’d tell you it’s a yearning for connection for being seen. I can’t watch Monday night Raw with my buddies each week, but I sure can see what renowned wrestling journalist Wade Keller thinks of Monday Night Raw! Sometimes, (okay oftentimes) I’ll get his opinion before forming my own. 

I need a quick sidebar here. A few years ago, there was a trend on social media that called out women for hating on men that ‘had to wait for their buddies to laugh first’. This was memed heavily for a few weeks, with these women from these podcasts and the subsequent ladies who tweeted about the situation getting clowned for having such high standards. You want my thoughts on this trend? Hold on let me see what Wade said - I’M KIDDING. I honestly thought they had a point. I have seen and been a part of many friend groups in my day. A lot of them have leaders - that title may float around the group members based on the setting, sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve been a follower and a leader and I can tell you, the leaders laugh first. This has gotten even more prevalent as time passes. People are so scared to go out on a limb, to be ostracized for their preferences, that they have to test the waters before really saying what they mean. Here’s an exchange I caught at a party shortly after Kendrick Lamar dropped his album GNX shortly after catapulting in popularity due to his demolishing of Drake:

Yo you hear that new Kendrick?

Yea did you?

Yea. Kinda good right?

Yeah it was pretty good. 

I wish I had more of the convo to report but I had to interject at that point. Kinda good? I chimed in with a twisted face and an equally contorted tone. It was incredible!

Cheers to those women who knew what they wanted and weren’t afraid to ask for it. They wanted a first mover. Are there unlimited leaders to go around for every girl that wants one? How could I possibly quantify the desires of women worldwide when their energy varies from one neighborhood to the next, let alone across countries?

Increasingly, it takes bravery to laugh first. It takes bravery to say you like something, and even more to stand on that after your proclamation. It takes more guts to say you like something than to say you hate it. Women of the world, I see you and I am like you. I too enjoy the presence of men who laugh first and are brave. Cheers. 

I love being seen. I love being validated. If I like something, I want others to like it too, if I dislike something, I want others to dislike it too. I get caught up watching YouTube essays about the downfall of people like Bobbi Althoff, Destiny, alpha male podcasters and the like. Why? I chalk it up to the fact that I feel better about myself after. I’m not like them. They have moments of being disingenuous, clout chasing, perverted, broken, or any combo of those. Me being an average sunset, soccer and sound enjoyer loved these videos. I haven’t seen a downfall of x video that I felt could ever befall me. Which is part of the reason I find them comforting.

It’s a craving for community. I want people to discuss with. I want a third space to wax about my hobbies. I want Wade Keller to tell me Cody Rhodes is exquisite, I want Reddit to explain to me the little details that make Severance even more special, and I want to hear the professor of Tolarian Community College winge about the failings of Wizards of the Coast. I want my voice on a platform. I want people to comment on my ideas. If an established character in the zeitgeist has those ideals, what’s the difference? And if I didn’t have those opinions before I read them, who cares? 

Doesn’t matter felt seen. 

If you’re lucky and smart, sometimes you’ll be watching a sport with a buddy and you make a comment about the state of the game and you’ll hear the commentator repeat it shortly after. You have to be watching with someone, it doesn't count if you’re alone. If this has happened to you, then skip to the next paragraph because you know how good it feels. It’s amazing. It’s validating your knowledge, your instincts and your bravery to share a take that nobody had quite had yet. You’re a leader. You’re a first mover. You’re an educated boss because you knew Leandro Trossard should have been wider to open up the middle. To lead successfully is an electric feeling. 

Give others the chance to feel seen. Move. Create the take that hasn’t been said. Be the first mover. Take the risk. Tell me what you like. Be honest. Let me decide if it’s for me or not but stand on it! Sometimes you’ll get a laugh, many times you won't. Who cares if people laugh at the grainy YouTube documentary you presented to them? Someone liked it! Someone made it. 

A take is one thing, but a make is supreme. Oh let’s comment on how this person's song sounds - where’s yours? My take about Sabrina Carpenter is - go ahead let’s hear it. Know this though, I respect your make way more than your take. 

For me, creating music and seeing how (some of) my songs can bring people joy, introspection or ‘take fodder’ is the supreme form of being seen. 

I appreciate your takes, but I wanna see your makes.